Embrace. My 'One Little Word' for 2018. This is the first year I've signed up for the class. I have tried in the past to have a word per year, but I can't remember what any of them were or why I picked them so it wasn't helpful, or memorable.
Embrace basically knocked me over when I was just pondering things, as I do on the random regularly. I recently reached and crossed a significant threshold in my therapy.
From my journal 23 December 2017:
Christmas 2017 is just around the corner. Another year past and a new fresh year is about to begin. Will I be able to keep the goals I have set for myself 2018? I should be headed to bed but I feel the urge to write. About what? Not sure. I can't believe this is the third journal I have filled up. That is progress in my life as silly as it may seem. I've always wanted to complete journals and now I have found a system that works. Proof I can change! I can be who I want to be, even if I feel like a child - that is slowly decreasing. At times I feel like I don't deserve to be an adult, and that needs to change. 2018 - embrace change, embrace me. I am becoming whole, for the first time in my life. It isn't easy, it is scary, it is unknown. New territory but it will be worth it. This year I have crossed the threshold of being too scared to move forward, to never wanting to go to the past again.
I want to move forward, and cannot see myself ever going back. I want to fight to stay alive instead of giving into the will to not exist. These changes are bigger than changes but I don't believe there is a word. This past year I've thought about re-writing the dictionary. There are so many words that I look for but can never find to express myself at the level I feel needs to be expressed. Perhaps I should work on the goal of word-smithing, so that I can link words together to create the feeling I wish to convey.
I will embrace all that I am, at the present moment.
Not what I could be.
Not what I want to be, but as I am.
I will embrace each day for what that day brings.
Not what I wish it were.
Not what I dream it to be.
Good moments or bad,
I will embrace it.
I will embrace those around me.
The ones I call friends.
The ones I choose to be family.
The strangers I don't know, and
those that just need a smile.
I will embrace all I want/need in my life,
I will embrace gratitude for simple pleasures.
I will embrace living from my heart instead of my head.
I will embrace moments that cause me to grow.
I will embrace change.
I will embrace my passions.
I will embrace my fears.
I will embrace growth.
I will embrace the world around me.
I will embrace the small moments of beauty and hardship that will define me as a person.
I will embrace the journey of self.
To find my true self, to be honest to her, and learn to love her for everything I am at every moment.
I vow to embrace myself, life, and all the space that surrounds me.